Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
