I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
It doesn't feel like real life when you open your hotel room door and the first person you see is wearing a rabbit costume. I'm too hungover for this.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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