where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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