He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
