you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
