Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
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