I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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