is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Randomize
