make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
