I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
Just found out my mom tried to sue the birth control company when she got pregnant with me...love you too mom.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
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