Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
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I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
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It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal