summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.