Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind