You're so nebulous sometimes
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
This beer is not sobering me up at all
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss