So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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