So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
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