well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
There's a knife in my toilet. And I meant to ask you last night if you got a hair cut?
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Randomize
