So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
