just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
