i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
