I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
