is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
