I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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