If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
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