i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
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