she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
