Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
