She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
Randomize
