you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
