Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.
Yeah I'm going to bathe him.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize