How'd it feel making her break her religion?
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Randomize
