I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Randomize
