i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
