But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Randomize
