Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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