it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize