So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
Clearly you need to take sleeping pills and put your phone in the toilet
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