Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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