Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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