can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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