Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
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