Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Randomize
