Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
