can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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