Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
