sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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