john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
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