You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
