oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
