Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I love you. Go after that dick
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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