I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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