I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
