guys are only as good as the porn they watch
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
