one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
