dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
