hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
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